I’m not one to brag, but…

Gosh, you guys. I didn’t realize turning forty was going to bring great things! Word on the street: Turning 40 is one foot in the grave. Bones creaking more, eyesight diminishing, muscle wasting, and cold weather wreaking havoc specifically in arthritic areas, making you write a list of the pros and cons of moving to a warmer climate. My daughter thinks forty is old, and I was beginning to believe her along with the street walking dooms dayers! I’m nearly 41 and I thought I’d be picking out headstones and epitaphs. Turns out, I just needed some good news to turn “Over the Hill” into “Queen of the Mountain”.

Forty years old and my annual check-up is right around the corner. The Annual appointment is, well, annual, and isn’t new, but the accompanying lab order sure is! A CHOLESTEROL PANEL!

This morning I was kindly stabbed and my life’s source of vitality and strength was removed from my bulging vein for testing. The anticipation of those results in my online portal was remarkably high, and I received an email just a few minutes ago and the results are in!

I mean, look at this!

Here’s where I talk myself up a little. I am not one to brag, as I said above, and this makes me just a little uncomfortable, but not enough to put a muzzle on it. My results, ahem, surpassed the “normal” category, and shot into the “optimal” range, which, if I say so myself, is quite remarkable! I can’t remember the last time I inadvertently aced a test without trying! Even better than that, I don’t eat very healthy so I’m shocked that my results are this good! Thank you Mom and Dad for good genes I guess!

If you see me walking around with my shoulders back and my head held high, now you know why. Being forty with great cholesterol is a whole new feeling. If you’re in my age bracket, you should add this to the joys of turning 40 and spreading the news. With all the negativity surrounding this age, we have to have something to look forward to, and what’s better than something that is virtually unseen by the naked eye?

Well, a lot, but that’s not what this post is about, is it? No, it’s about my divine results and being proud of my age.

Gosh, I still can’t believe it. (insert printer noises) (now a tape dispenser) (picture me walking to my bathroom mirror) (now me taping it up). This copy should last until my next cholesterol check in 5 years. Might have to redo the tape, but it’s up for my viewing pleasure, and to remind my husband, in case he forgot, that even if my weight is fluctuating, my cholesterol numbers are not.

Until next time,

Mrs. New Outlook on Life.