What Moms say during hiking.

I took the kids hiking the other day to Whitewater State Park. After we had gone up 300 stairs and walked 500 miles, I noticed that I was yelling warnings pert-near the whole time, instead of enjoying the views of the great, glorious nature that God has given us.

While I was shouting out ominous opportunities for children, I thought to myself, “Let’s record this.” So I did. And it took several takes and we never got it right. But here they are, and remember, they weren’t born actors. They had to work at this…really hard.

I’d love to say that no children were hurt in the process, but I’d be lying. My son injured his finger faux-falling out of a tree. He’s fine. My daughter, in one of the videos above, faked a fall but ended up hurt and scuffed her arm while her brother was “saving” her life from a long tumble. She’s fine too. Resiliency is a fine thing in children. Laughing about it helps (yes, I did check to make sure nothing was broken–No, I did not have a first aid kit…They’re fiiine).

As you could see from this high-tech videographing, we had fun, we didn’t spend close to enough time rehearsing, and we didn’t spend any money on props. Low-budget filming at its finest.

I’m afraid to take them back hiking again. I’m scared it’ll be another version of cautionary tales and too much idle time standing around waiting for them to learn their lines. And even more time yelling Take 2 or was it 3?! If we do this again, I’m afraid they’ll want perfection, and well, that’s simply not me. And frankly, perfection is not them either.

They are messy, and not the best listeners, squabblers among siblings, and terrible child actors. But I love them, and they’re mine. And dammit, I’ll probably take them hiking again.

So if you are ever at Whitewater State Park and hear some shrill voice shouting “Take 12!”, that’s me. And you’ll find my kids hanging off branches that don’t break (so no lesson there) or tripping over roots (even though they were warned) or, worse yet, getting too close to the edge of a cliff (Don’t grab my hand! I said my forearm! It’s a better grip!). Feel free to join us and bring some reinforcements. Apparently, child actors need “breaks”.